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08/21/18 09:58 PM #787    


Robert Cole

Ken, don't worry about being a youngster.  I promise to treat you like you're old!
We'll have the walker standing by for you.  And I just renewed my CPR so you're covered.

Hope the Unforgettable serves "G&G."  Gin & Geritol!

08/22/18 01:17 PM #788    


Andrew R. Flor

Good Manhattens Cole. Same dif.

08/22/18 03:21 PM #789    


Norman Vorne

I heard this was the Ken forum...all Ken all the time devil.

In that spirit, here is Ken demonstrating the size of the last fish he caught.

08/22/18 08:33 PM #790    


John Simmers

 I am not so amazed at the size of the fish that Ken is showing us @ #789 - but, that he is apparently managing to do so, while balancing the tiny Corona Beer he was drinking - on his shoulder!

As my Irish kin would say --- Good on you, Ken! Good on you!


08/22/18 10:57 PM #791    


Michelle Milkovic (Weiner)

John Simmers... that is Hilarious.

08/23/18 01:06 PM #792    


Andrew R. Flor

Good one! 

08/23/18 01:29 PM #793    


Norman Vorne

Good catch John!

08/23/18 01:53 PM #794    


John Todesco

Looks more like Ken is happy he has finally been let out of his cage.

08/23/18 09:53 PM #795    


Ken Ortiz people........

I turn my back for one minute......

But that fish (Kenosha Kingfish) WAS that big! See?

See you all on the 6th! cheeky That magic Corona bottle trick was so cool.

08/24/18 12:28 PM #796    


John Simmers

08/24/18 08:46 PM #797    


Michelle Milkovic (Weiner)

It's a thing.


09/09/18 01:32 AM #798    


Ken Ortiz

Hello all,

As we celebrate our 60th birthday (some have already, some will soon), I got to thinking back to my Lane days and my observations of my family and others around 60 at that time. Here was my conclusion at that time:

“I will never, ever talk about the things they talk about or act the way they do when I am 60! INCONCEIVABLE!” <--- this word from the movie “The Princess Bride"

Well…….guess what? WRONG! (As incorrect answer buzzer from your favorite 70's game show goes off) We cannot help but become what we dreaded when we were teenagers, it's just the circle of life. Here are a few examples of what I call “is it just me, or do some of you also feel the same?”:

1) When I drop something on the floor, now I have to make noises when I bend down to pick it up, whether it be grunts, groans, moans, oofs, etc. No more….”Bend…and SNAP!” (from the movie Legally Blonde) Nowadays, I am afraid of snapping parts of my body if I try that.
2) Conversations I have with people my age now revolve around ailments, medical conditions, medical procedures, etc. My thought when I was a teenager and I overheard those conversations: “Ewww…..TMI! Way too much detail!” Now I can't wait to hear the details. Side note: One advantage of having certain ailments is that we can predict some weather conditions better (“My knee is aching, must be rain coming”).
3) I now get annoyed when I am walking (or bicycling) around the downtown Kenosha area and cars (and now motorcycles) drive by blasting music way too loud and obnoxious. Don't they know that they are pissing everybody off? But I recall myself installing coffee can speakers and putting them on the back seat in my car (for that extra boost) back in the day and blasting tunes such as “Give it to me baby", “Rock lobster", “Shake your pants", etc.
4) I used to be hesitant about going out in public with folks that age when I was a teenager (and because I was raised by my grandparents, I had a lot more exposure with that age group) because I feared getting embarrassed being seen with them, especially when they acted immature and childish (ROM syndrome) or started getting frisky with each other (PDA), or doing huggy-kissy with me in public. I am sure you can think of other antics they did that made you cringe. Well, several times recently, my daughter has threatened to “Put me in time-out" for acting silly (ROM syndrome) when we are out in public.
5) More frequent bouts of ROM (Regression of Maturity*) syndrome. Face it, we now enjoy acting silly and immature again and we don't care what others think about us. We are secure with ourselves and embrace our spazzy and idiotic moments and especially laugh about our ooopses and our YOLO moments. Because we now dare to Go For It.
* It also seems that this “Regression of Maturity" is accelerated when assembled in groups of similar age. Case in point: I was at a gathering (not of the Juggalos (ICP baby) even though our “clowning" would have made them proud) recently with most people around my age group. The acceleration rate (or ROR – Rate of Regression) of our “Maturity Regression" was further increased because several there were also Lane 76'ers. If we also factor in the weather conditions (hot and humid) and the relative B.A.C. (I am assuming you all know what B.A.C. is) of the group, it was the “Perfect Storm" which eliminated all inhibitors to the “Rate of Regression” and turned our mature, reserved gathering into a free for all frolic, resulting in the water gun (and other “Weapons of Mass Wetness”) “war to end all wars". Bottom line: it was an incredibly fun and awesome experience!

I have worked the numbers and so far, it will be relatively safe to attend our 60th birthday celebration on October 6th. Some factors will be in play that will accelerate the ROR, (like the large, similar age group, the relative B.A.C., etc.), but there will also be factors in play that will inhibit the ROR, and thus reduce our chances of reaching the TOFR (Threshold of Full Regression), that occurred at that other gathering. These inhibitors are listed as follows: a) a more controlled environment (indoors), b) little or no access to “WOMW" (Weapons of Mass Wetness), c) more security and supervisory personnel in premises (we think), d) not enough time for reduced ROR to reach TOFR. Of course the above conditions are all assumed and our best estimates, and no considerations have been accounted for any “weird happenstances” (i.e. like in 2016 when the Cubs won certain playoff and world series games – all bets are off) that may occur that day.
So next time my Daughter threatens to “Put me in time out", I can show her this analysis and tell her “I cannot help it! The math shows it to be true!”
Can you think of other things we say or do now that we never imagined saying or doing when we were teenagers?
P.S. – I love it when I get to use Technical Jargon and acronyms.

09/10/18 02:02 PM #799    


June K Hori (Yamasaki)

OMG I had to stop reading Ken's post halfway through. My head was spinning from TMA (Too Many Acronyms)

09/10/18 02:41 PM #800    


Georgette Mihalko (Rath)

Ken - That was a great read!! I am laughing my head off!! Thanks

09/10/18 03:38 PM #801    


Marie Costa (McJilton)

Ken,  Your last post was very entertaining! I needed a good laugh! Thanks!

09/11/18 10:02 AM #802    


Andrea M Adam

Well Ken, I finally made it through your post and the first thing that came to my mind about the 60th B-Day party is that we're going to have to ask the staff to turn the music way down since none of us can hear anymore or we're just going to have to keep nodding our heads as if we can really hear the other person or even understand what they're saying. But then of course if the music IS loud and we have to bend down to pick something up, no one will hear the groans or cracks you referenced in your post.


Another thing I find funny is I will now enjoy listening to music that I wouldn't have been caught dead listening to in the 1970's. I was very ADD (Anti-Disco Diva) back in those days and thought it wasn't cool to dance to that music. Although I must admit, I do have photographic proof of Marie (Costa) McJilton doing "the Bump" with an un-named partner in my basement in 1976. So I guess I must've played some sort of dance music. But it was probably The Ohio Players so that's cool.


Whatever our afflictions and ailments though, we should all be grateful we're still able to gather as a happy group and I encourage you all to invite others to "come out with your bad self" or whatever self you are these days so we can make a few more memories that we can share with this crazy group we can Laneites. And with people like Ken there, who knows what'll happen. (No water cannons, please!)

09/11/18 11:35 AM #803    


Andrew R. Flor

Ken, That was hilarious! I don't have any regressions because I have successfully remained immature my whole life. I still skate twice a week and feel fine as long as I don't sit down afterwards and try to get up and bitch about how getting frickin' old sucks Thank God for hot tubs! I still blast Kashmir,Good Times Bad Times, Baba O'Reilly and Stayin' Alive in my car on a hot summer day with the windows and top down,especially with the advent of 8 way speaker and digital technology...I am not particularly concerned if other 60 year olds find this offensive. However, I am more environmentally conscious and scope food and beer labels for calorie, saturated fat and sodium contents, if that counts towards maturity and being an old fart.

09/11/18 04:15 PM #804    


John Todesco

Ken, love it.  I also love the fact that Flor is in denial.  For a guy who proclaims he doesn't feel the affects of regression, he apparently 1) forgot he posted the same response 23 times or 2) has a nervous trigger finger................both signs of aging.

09/12/18 08:44 PM #805    


Per C Pearson

I just had my “Generation Gap” moment over the summer working with a young intern.  The computer progam we were using did not have a copy/paste function so I told him to use the DOS method of control C/control V. He looked at me completely confused and said “What’s DOS?”

09/12/18 09:46 PM #806    


Robert Cole

Andrea, I never went through the disco phase when we were teens.  I went right from Mother Goose to Frank Zappa.  I remember a Lane girlfriend once turning up the radio in my car when Muskrat Love came on.  I turned it off and said "not in my car!"

And, Like Andrew, I'm trying my best to stay in denial.  At least musically.  Drove to Ft. Wayne a couple weeks ago to see Alice Cooper!  And,I'm TOTALLY IGNORING that Taylor Swift is in Indianapolis this week.

Although, I do admit driving to Louisville once and sitting through a One Direction concert.  But, it was for my teen daughter.  There were about 14 fathers... and 14,000 screaming teen girls.  I just brought a set of ear plugs and a paperback novel.  I started a new job a few months back.  As an ice breaker they asked the room "What was your first concert?" and "What was your last concert?"  I answered "Three Dog Night" and "One Direction."  I really had to do som 'splainin' there!

High school was a blur for me of Three Dog Night, Chicago, Kiss, Frank Zappa, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, Jethro Tull, Grateful Dead and Pink Floyd, among others. 

I did actually catch the Monkees in there.  Twice!  I'm a closet Monkees fan.  And, Devo.

When my son was a newborn and wouldn't go to sleep at night, I used to sit in his room and rock with him to Pink Floyd, "Dogs."  Put him to sleep every time!  And, when he was 18 months old I took him to his first Dead concert.  He liked the twirly dancing!

A few years out of college I got into Dead Kennedys and Surf Nazis, too.

See you all at the party soon!

09/13/18 01:31 PM #807    


Maja Ramirez (Ramirez)


I went from Mother Goose to Styx & Yes (and lots more, thank you Kris Ericson Hallowell!) with a long Journey to Moody Blues (matched me!) - lots of disco when I got in college and pledged a sorority though, yah boy... And don't everyone start on me again with "The radical hippie chick joined a sorority AND the Chicago Police Department?!" Been there, heard all that!


09/13/18 10:03 PM #808    


Ken Ortiz

Hello all,

Thank you for your great feedback, I really appreciate it. I am enjoying all the comments here also. it true that there might be a "Disco Inferno" happenning at the bar on 10/6, which will cause us to "Get Down...Boogie Oogie Oogie"? Geee....I have not busted some serious disco moves in....maybe...about a month!

Hey! How did that "Disco Ken" picture get on there? surprise 


09/13/18 10:28 PM #809    


Robert Cole

Maja... you are (were) a Chicago cop?  Good for you!

Quite a few years ago I came back to Chicago for a drum & bugle corps reunion.  One of our alumni, Cindy Schumann was a Chicago cop.  She came to the reunion and said, "Hey, who remembers xxxxxxx?"  After we all remembered her, Cindy said, "Well, she wanted me to tell you all she's real sorry, but she won't be able to make it to the reunion tonight."  When we asked why Cindy answered, "Because I busted her this afternoon!  But, she'd be here if she could!"  I guess, during the frisk she asked if Cindy was going to the reununion tonight, then asked to pass on her regrets.  So, of everyone who wasn't there, she definitely won the award for BEST EXCUSE!

09/13/18 10:30 PM #810    


Robert Cole

My kids loved my high school pictures of the long(ish) hair, big sideburns, bellbottoms and the platform shoes!  Maybe I'll try to find a Nehru collar and to big medallion!  I try to tell them that was "cool" back then.  They don't believe me.  Dad was never cool.

09/13/18 10:31 PM #811    


Robert Cole

Coming to Chgo tomorrow to visit my son in Lincoln Park.  LOU'S for dinner Friday night!  Can't wait!

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